Many women believe that finding the right partner and getting married is hard, but ending a marriage that does not bring you happiness anymore maybe even harder. What to do if your husband does not want to split while you want to leave and move on? What to do when your husband wants a divorce but refuses to leave you alone after that? We will try to give the answer to the second question in this guide and provide you with tips on how to handle such a situation without freaking out for too long.
First of all, let’s analyze a few things to understand how you should react to such an offer from your husband.
Ask your husband how he sees your relationship after divorce
There is no other way to find out what your husband thinks about your bond after divorce but to ask him. Feel free to ask questions that arrive in your head when he offers to divorce but stay together: does he want to live together or is he going to move out? Is he expecting to date you or share a home, budget, and pay bills together? Does he want to date only you or start relationships with other people as well? How does such a relationship can affect your kids and whether he is ready to provide them the same amount of attention after divorce?
At this point, you only need to listen to his answers. Don’t rush to react or demonstrate your anger at his words. Just remember what he says and go on to the next step.
Demand an explanation of why he wants a divorce
If a legal divorce is the only thing that will be different in your relationship in the eyes of your husband, the logical question arises: ‘Why my husband wants a divorce?’. There are a few reasons for him to do that:
- the role of the husband appears to be unbearable (he does not want to have a responsibility to be a bread-winner, commit to you for years, etc.);
- he loves you but can’t stand your relatives and thinks that after a divorce he will deal only with you and not your family;
- he has an issue with his mental health that he doesn’t want to share;
- he wants to try dating other women but does not want to cheat;
- he has a lover but is not sure about them, so he wants to keep you as his Plan B if the relationship with that person fails;
- he wants to purchase something expensive and avoid sharing it with you as a spouse, etc.
Since this list is not limited to only the mentioned reasons, we suggest that you not try to guess but ask your partner openly why he wants to split legally but stay together. Such a question is not rude or too personal as it has a lot to do with you as a wife: you have the right to know why your husband wants to change the status of your couple without your consent.
Analyze any possible reasons for him to want that kind of dating
After you get the answer to that ‘Why?’ question, analyze it in the context of your family life and the reasons we mentioned earlier. Your husband may not be eager to talk and open up sincerely regarding his reasons to register a marriage dissolution from you, so you will need to analyze his behavior in the last months before he expressed such a decision: was there something that could jeopardize your happy marital life and make him want to divorce? Are there financial difficulties, health problems, or loans that make their life as a husband unbearable? Think about it to see what you can do now.
Accept your husband’s will
If you notice that there is no room for negotiation with your partner but only marriage divorce, don’t cry over it. The best thing you can do is accept your husband wants a divorce and learn as much as you can about this process to go through it with dignity. Fun fact is that once you file for your marriage to be terminated, you may find out the real reasons why your husband wanted it so bad: he will have to indicate his grounds for dissolution in the petition and provide documents on your common property, real estate, finances, etc. Besides this, he will have to pay the cost of divorce in Texas if he is the one to start the process.
Know your worth and your principles
When you heard that your husband wanted a divorce for the first time, you probably were shocked and insulted, but once you accept their will, you can focus on yourself and ask: ‘Am I really happy in a relationship where my partner doesn’t want to stay with my husband? Are there any other red flags demonstrating that our marital life is unhealthy?’. We bet if you think about it and remember the last years in marriage, you may notice that you were not appreciated enough, emotionally fed by your partner, cared for well, or even abused.
If you notice the signs of toxic behavior in your relationship, remember what your principles and self-esteem were when you started these relationships. Probably, your husband treated you way better then, and wouldn’t ask for a divorce but without the intention to break up completely. So, if your spouse doesn’t respect you that much now, why should you hold on to them?
Don’t settle for a relationship you will not be comfortable in
Finally, if you feel that it’s impossible for you to divorce your partner and continue dating or co-living with them, make it clear to them. During the legal process, it can be your demand to move out of your house and not communicate anymore unless you have kids’ issues to resolve. There is no point in depriving your mental and emotional state by continuing a relationship that will not make you happy.
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